THE DAY I LOST MY HAIR

My nurse warned me that my hair will start thinning after chemo.

Being someone who is fairly healthy and never having close exposure to cancer (let alone being diagnosed with two of them), I have no clue how the process of losing hair goes.

In a way, there is a comfort that it will be a gradual process. Little did I know, the reality is quite the opposite.

Sixteen days after chemo, I woke up and keep finding my hair falling everywhere. I tried to shake off the ‘loose hair’ thinking that it was just a thinning process. The more I shake, the more came off.

I decided to take a shower. The moment I put shampoo on my hair and tried to wash it off, with one stroke, a big chunk of hair came off in my hand. I froze when I saw the clump of hair on my hand.

I wanted to scream but nothing came out.

I wish I wasn’t warned about the thinning hair but the Apocalypse Fall will happen. It might prepare me from freaking out.

I tried to wash a couple more time and more came off. I got tired of trying to rid my hair of my scalp. Chemo fatigue already hit me, I was weak and had low energy. I already lost 3kg within 2 weeks because I haven’t been eating.

I stop and dried myself off. I look at myself in the mirror with a patch of boldness. The person I saw in the mirror, isn’t the person I usually see.

My hair my last remnant of being ‘somewhat’ healthy. At least I can still recognise myself with short hair; even when my face is looking thin, my lips are dry, my mouth is sore and my eyes are dim from feeling unwell.

I never thought I would end up plucking a smiley face at the back of my head.

But a drastic situation requires a drastic solution to laugh about.

When you can laugh, life is pretty good 🙂

To be continued…

(I am hoping to write 100 words a day. Aiming to have my book published before I turn 40! )